Mood music

This Woman's Work

This Woman

On the way into the office yesterday, my iPod dished up “This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush. It took me back to 1998 as I was driving to my parents house.

This was no ordinary trip to mom and dad’s. Shortly before, I had gotten “the call” — my mom had yet another battle to fight in her crusade against cancer. I listened to “This Woman’s Work” the whole way there and cried so hard I could hardly breathe.

Gwyneth Paltrow did an amazing remake of the song for a now out of circulation album called Every Mother Counts. You can hear it by clicking the image at the top of this post (If you don’t have any Kleenex nearby, go to Costco and buy a pallet before you press play). The lyrics to the song captured much of what I felt that night.

“Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside
This woman’s work,
This woman’s world.
Ooh, it’s hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking

Of all the things I should’ve said,
That I never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
That we never did.
All the things I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking

Of all the things we should’ve said,
That were never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.”

~Kate Bush

My family was lucky — we were given the gift of time and what strength my mom had left, she used well on most days. We had the opportunity to say all the things that we’d never said, and the chance to do some of the things that we never did. My mom told me all the things she wanted for me and we talked about what she needed from me. Unfortunately, though, her cancer wouldn’t go away, so today, I LIVESTRONG.

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2 thoughts on “Mood music

  1. I haven’t heard that version before – love it and am listening to it with goose bumps all over. Think I might have to dig up some Kate Bush. Love you Kim and love everything that you are doing in memory of your mom, supporting your friends fighting the fight and living in the moment. Really hope to spend some more time with you soon – you invigorate me! xoxooxxo love love love Annie

  2. Annie, thank heavens Lou has made us closer. Love you. So much. Funny — forgot to tell you last weekend…when Elizabeth was 7 and scared to move to Philly, she and I laid in her bed one night and talked about when I moved to California. I told her that her best friends from California will always be there. I told her that you and I had been friends since we were babies — that we colored your mom’s wallpaper and painted her Volkswagen — that even now, in our late 30s, you are still as special to me today as you were when I moved out here when I was 8. Think you’ll see me this weekend. Can’t wait to hang again. Love you, sweet friend. Always. XOX

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